何处为家

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昨天拍视频讲了中国的家庭婚姻的问题

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很多人留言评论说

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权哥

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你过年了

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你不想家吗

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美国是你的家吗

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你为什么不考虑叶落归根啊

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当然留言大部分都是山河市场

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北方的兄弟啊

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实际上你的家也不是你的家

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在中国是这样的

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在中国那叫大河不满小和干啊

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在美国呢是以小河不满大和干

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他是两个截然相反的逻辑啊

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你看我现在在尼伯特beach海边来观察他们

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美国人的家哈

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美国人家呢他是一个独立的个体

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就是国家的法律啊

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法治啊

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它是保护个体的

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像神圣不可侵犯嘛

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他更注重契约精神

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那中国人的家呢他是讲究对吧

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服从集体啊

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举个例子啊

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我小时候呢是父母种地嘛

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那非常辛苦

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很多时候没日没夜

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用我父亲的话来说

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砸锅卖铁供我们上学

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那真的太辛苦了

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所以你看我们小时候都很懂事嘛

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我记得这样的

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我上初中的时候是一个星期回家一次

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上高中呢是一个月回家一次

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上大学呢是一年回家一次

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工作以后呢

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哼也是一两块钱一串

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来到美国之后呢

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也是一年回家一次

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有人说

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其实呢我的回家的频率啊

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我在美国还在国内的时候

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从大学开始是基本上一模一样的

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基本上一年回家一次

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那父母呢其实来讲

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他们对孩子觉得一年回家一次也正常

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因为那父母你看我们小时候

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那那父母为了生计啊

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都没洗走

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很长时间不回家也正常

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没日没夜的在外面干活对吧

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你到今天为止也是这样的

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你可以想象一下啊

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就是大家在工作过程里面很多人出差啊

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你像这个8000万华人在海外哈

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然后全球各地啊

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你想想很多时候过年都回不了家

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但那个他对家的概念本身就不一样了对吧

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你看我

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我本来我是跟我父母讲

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我说哎可以来美国哈

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我父母

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他们现在一个呢可能不太愿意去坐飞机啊

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或者太累了嘛

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第二个呢嘿嘿嘿

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身体可能受不了对吧

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因为我们在济南的时候也让父母呢去体验一下

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受不了受不了城市的喧哗

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那来美国呢面对第二个问题就是语言的问题哈

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当然了

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你的父母他们的老家他可能自由也自由自在

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他们也不一定永远跟儿子在一块

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所以你说这个家的理解是什么样子的啊

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就是我那时候我离开我们那个哈济宁的时候

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我跟我父母亲说过一句话

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我说我今天离开了啊

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我以后再也不回来了

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就我说的不回来是什么意思

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就是不会把这个家门安在那个地方

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因为我觉得那个地方没有什么好玩的

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真的各位啊

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我来美国之后

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我我可以来体验一下

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这是美国的一个普通的社区啊

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这还不是这个啊宝安社区啊

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它只是一个开放社区

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你可以看一下感受一下啊

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你看下美国人对家的理解

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他们真的很注重家

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但每一家每一户呢这个在家里面花的时间精力

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那细节你可以看他的细节啊

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你不要看大面

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因为在北方呢

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很多时候你这个房子呢装修的很好

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面很好哈

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但是呢你要是真的看细节

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你发现都是这个外面很哈很华丽

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那内部呢其实来讲就是比较空洞

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但是美国不一样哈

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美国是外面很普通

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里面很华丽

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嘿嘿所以他有两种不同的不同的思考啊

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啊当然了

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我讲的意思不是说谁贫谁富的问题

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就是他对家的理解不一样

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美国人18岁以后呢

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你就独立个体是吧

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然后呢你呢就和父母没有什么关系了啊

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你就和智力生存啊

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你和奥巴马啊

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他这个哈大学贷款工作10年以后才还清

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什么意思呢

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就是那是你是你的对吧

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你挣的钱是你的

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但是父母呢有义务哈

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你没有义务去去给你解决学费问题啊

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我给你贷款

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你自己慢慢还就行了

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国外人他觉得这很正常

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你知道吗

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所以国外呢他们也不太存钱啊

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他们也不太说哇

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那这些啊这个呵呵是一定要养老啊

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养老的话都是那个美国它都是养老金嘛

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他说养老金啊就是股票账户啊

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退休之后呢就是401K啊

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然后呢用这个股票来养老

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而不是用国家来养老

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所以呢这就对应了我们小时候我们父母啊

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跟我们说的原话啊

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说哎呀你们兄弟们一定要多啊

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然后呢养老啊

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我记得第一次我父亲生病的时候啊

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当时因为我们兄弟五个嘛

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然后我出钱啊

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兄弟们出力

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然后大家分头哈

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有人出钱出力的父母唉

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照顾的很好

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康复了啊

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在后面呢因为兄弟们多嘛

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有人在老家啊

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我呢就是天天在外面嘛

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然后呢到现在还是这样嘛

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我说我出钱

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那出力呢

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那兄弟们出力就行了

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实际上大家发现这个事也可以

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为什么我说现在过年啊

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实际上我也不太愿意回啊

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主要原因是什么呢

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因为第一个呢你你比如说我的生意做得很好

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但是呢不是每个人现在都做的很好

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特别是在最近这两年呢

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大家可以看一下啊

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我就问你

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如果你做的很好是吧

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那这个事怎么办

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这第一个啊

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第二个

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那你想想吧

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你要是生意人

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你知道哈

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如果今年生意不好

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你的心情会开心吗

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不可能的

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但是呢你生意很好

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哎你装的不开心

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你装的不开心

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人家也知道

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对不对

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那最好办法是给钱呗是吧

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那第三个呢就是各位这个人一旦年龄大了哈

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所以讲你真的是心在哪里安放的地方

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就是你的家

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然后呢你在哪里开心

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你的家

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比如说哎在美国哎我高血压好了

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我现在血压完全正常了啊

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现在高压的话就120多

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低压的话就80左右哎

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心率还六七十

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很开心很舒服

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我感觉我的这个状态比他妈的

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十几年前还舒服是吧

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我的这个工作量比他妈十几年前还要大

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我现在一个人赚的钱比他妈十几年前

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几百个人赚的还要多

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那为啥呢

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因为因为这是你自己能心能放下的地方对吧

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我每天我就走个五六个小时哈

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观察这个美国的这些人的生活哈

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然后嘞是吧

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赚更多的钱

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赚更多钱我就花呗

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你看今年我们公司传统联商生意不好

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石三星造发对吧

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那那给那个10年以上老员工

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我说你们要是愿意来美国

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那我就啊具体来玩一下

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给10年的老员工都美国旅游的旅游的名额嘛

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然后你们签证过不了呢

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那就发钱呗

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反正呢啊你给钱也行啊

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来玩我招待你们

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所以说你看我们现在逻辑是什么

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就是如果我有能力哈

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我能照顾更多的人

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还能让大家赚钱

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那我觉得这就是我的家的一个本分对吧

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那我心在哪里

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我能卖家创造价值

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没有必要哈

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我因为我过去从大学毕业

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这20年每年回家一次

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那我在美国每年也回家一次

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你说有什么差异吗

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一点都没有

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那父母呢是吧

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平时的话多寄东西去多给钱啊

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他也开心

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唉

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他也发现咦这个什么也没缺哈

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我直播的时候

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父母呢还可以在线的嘛

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看嘛是吧

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如果我不做直播的话

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他父母可能看不到我了对吧

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然后现在的话你父母没事做直播啊

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父母都嘿嘿嘿都很开心的在看我直播啊

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可能听不懂

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但很开心啊

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所以你发现问题没有

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就是我们这一代人呢

236
00:06:38,550 --> 00:06:39,310
八零后一代人呢

237
00:06:39,310 --> 00:06:42,750
实际上你也不用说用文化来去束缚自己是吧

238
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:43,589
你像我经常讲

239
00:06:43,589 --> 00:06:44,430
我说老家的话

240
00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:46,420
他们父母在不愿意不不愿意游

241
00:06:46,420 --> 00:06:47,160
必有因

242
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,459
这种东西都是废话

243
00:06:48,459 --> 00:06:49,339
我告诉你啊

244
00:06:49,339 --> 00:06:51,980
如果你今天在一个特别好的地方啊

245
00:06:51,980 --> 00:06:53,139
父母愿意跟着你来呗

246
00:06:53,139 --> 00:06:54,100
你比如说我在美国

247
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:54,699
父母愿意来

248
00:06:54,699 --> 00:06:56,100
我分分钟把他们接过来了对吧

249
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:57,180
他只要是有一点想法

250
00:06:57,180 --> 00:06:57,620
哎说行

251
00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:58,319
我不怕折腾

252
00:06:58,319 --> 00:06:59,600
我也不怕语言不通是吧

253
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:00,639
我也觉得对吧

254
00:07:00,639 --> 00:07:02,240
我这个老二在哪里都行

255
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:03,319
那父母肯定不这么想

256
00:07:03,319 --> 00:07:04,120
因为儒家文化的思想

257
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,699
觉得那叶落归给对吧

258
00:07:05,699 --> 00:07:07,579
那父母到现在还想着给儿子盖房子呢

259
00:07:07,579 --> 00:07:08,850
那我说我都不回去了

260
00:07:08,850 --> 00:07:09,810
还要盖是吧

261
00:07:09,810 --> 00:07:10,529
还要保证的

262
00:07:10,529 --> 00:07:12,290
要把那个房子给你搞得大大的

263
00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:13,810
然后我说你让那钱干嘛呢

264
00:07:13,810 --> 00:07:14,569
我说你有那个钱

265
00:07:14,569 --> 00:07:15,449
你还不如哈

266
00:07:15,449 --> 00:07:17,389
你还不如那个自己吃点喝点是吧

267
00:07:17,389 --> 00:07:19,369
让自己来高兴一点对吧

268
00:07:19,369 --> 00:07:20,048
你何必来呢

269
00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:21,869
你要我在美国这个舒适程度

270
00:07:21,869 --> 00:07:23,728
那那比中国那舒服的太多了对吧

271
00:07:23,728 --> 00:07:25,500
你这美国的这些房子啊

272
00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:26,459
这些质量

273
00:07:26,459 --> 00:07:27,699
那你说你在老家

274
00:07:27,699 --> 00:07:29,379
你你怎么可能租这种房子

275
00:07:29,379 --> 00:07:29,860
对不对

276
00:07:29,860 --> 00:07:33,029
你这个虽然现在你在美国那晚上睡觉了

277
00:07:33,029 --> 00:07:33,949
睡得真香啊

278
00:07:33,949 --> 00:07:36,670
我觉得我的高血压就是晚上睡觉睡的不好

279
00:07:36,670 --> 00:07:37,189
导致的哈

280
00:07:37,189 --> 00:07:39,930
因为在国内真的是每天晚上凌晨一点回家呀

281
00:07:39,930 --> 00:07:42,170
真的是每天喝酒喝到11点啊

282
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,310
每天两三场酒啊

283
00:07:43,310 --> 00:07:46,230
那真的是每天处于这种精神高度压力

284
00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:47,250
然后压抑之中啊

285
00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:48,100
你现在有钱

286
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:50,120
但是说白了隔不开

287
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:50,540
知道吗

288
00:07:50,540 --> 00:07:51,660
那离得太近了

289
00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:52,939
你在中国说难听点

290
00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:55,279
你有钱你敢干啥对吧

291
00:07:55,279 --> 00:07:56,800
你最多买个稍微好点的房子

292
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:57,949
买个稍微好点的车

293
00:07:57,949 --> 00:07:58,889
你你你你敢

294
00:07:58,889 --> 00:08:00,389
你敢有任何张扬吗对吧

295
00:08:00,389 --> 00:08:01,810
你敢表露出来任何东西吗

296
00:08:01,810 --> 00:08:02,670
但是你有钱

297
00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:03,829
你能你能盖住吗

298
00:08:03,829 --> 00:08:04,910
你能隔离吗

299
00:08:04,910 --> 00:08:05,899
不可能的

300
00:08:05,899 --> 00:08:07,699
所以实际上呢我就讲嘛

301
00:08:07,699 --> 00:08:09,000
我说哎呀

302
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,139
真的哼哪里舒服是吧

303
00:08:11,139 --> 00:08:12,019
哪里健康

304
00:08:12,019 --> 00:08:13,339
哪里能创造价值

305
00:08:13,339 --> 00:08:14,428
哪里有你的家

306
00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:17,249
而且呢你的思想价值观哎得哪里一致

307
00:08:17,249 --> 00:08:18,209
哪来有你的家

308
00:08:18,209 --> 00:08:19,410
至于说啊

309
00:08:19,410 --> 00:08:20,689
每个人的传统观念

310
00:08:20,689 --> 00:08:22,410
但凡让你不舒服的啊

311
00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:23,250
让你不健康的

312
00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:25,470
反正你不持续的都应该远离

313
00:08:25,470 --> 00:08:26,569
所以兄弟们

314
00:08:26,569 --> 00:08:28,389
小河不满大和干和

315
00:08:28,389 --> 00:08:31,529
大和不满小河干这两个观点不一样

316
00:08:31,529 --> 00:08:33,480
造就几种不同的人生啊

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